Monday, October 17, 2011

Discovery? It's what I do for a living really...

I am still using Spotify's free service, in spite of all their efforts to make it so unbearable that everyone who does gives up and starts paying.

Recent "innovations" of this sort that they have introduced include taking away any indication anywhere of how much listening time you've got left – meaning that it could cut out at any moment.

However, by far the most caustic of the irritants applied has been the spiralling number of adverts played. Not that I mind adverts in general – I'm quite happy to listen to them in exchange for free music.

Indeed, the number of adverts played is only mitigated by the fact that they are surely some of the WORST ADVERTS EVER, which I cannot imagine would ever persuade a listener to do anything other than boycott all the products and services of that brand in perpetuity out of sheer embarrassment.

But right now, there is one advert which is absolutely killing me with laughter every time it comes on – and lest you are not fellow Spotify Don't-Give-A-Shit-About-You-Lot-Anymore users, I have transcribed it for your enjoyment.

Imagine this in the voice of a condescending Radio Four grand-dame:
Discovery? It's what I do for a living really. Silicon chips, dark matter, the Higgs Boson. 
But recently, I made another discovery: punctuality, legroom, a crisp glass of Chanteloup-Touraine. 
All from £49 with Lufthansa. Now that's a wonder of the universe!
Pardon me, I have just vomited all over myself. Oh, where to begin...

Well, how about this? Whoever you are supposed to be: NO ONE has discovered the Higgs Boson.

Moreover, it's unlikely that – were evidence for its actual existence beyond inference from the Standard Model to be found – that someone working in the field of electronics (where you "discovered" the silicon chip) would be the one to find it.

Finally, it would be a tragedy akin to the neglect suffered by Tesla thanks to Edison if – after such an illustrious career – you were reduced to travelling by budget airline, whatever kind of mini-bottles of wine they serve.

I'm afraid that I will never now be able to travel on a Lufthansa flight. Because if I got sat next to someone who said "Discovery? It's what I do for a living really..." to me I'm afraid I would have to murder them. 

5 comments:

  1. I thought the lady in the ad was a famous scientist, I went off googling to find out who she was, the discover of the Higgs Boson etcs, alas no, it's all marketing bull.

    Flying by lufthansa might be pretty good, but this ad is tosh

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  2. I too am a Spotify sponger and concur with your sentiments exactly!

    I actually found your post after googling the Lufthansa ad. Its got under my skin so much, I can't believe the audacity.

    I no nothing about advertising, but that one must push the envelope of what's permissible in terms of inferring/misrepresenting etc. I was searching for some official complaint about it.

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  3. Amen to all of the above! I too decided to google Lufthansa to get an explanation for such a ridiculous advert. By the way, Talk Sport radio also play the same ad - ad nauseum (pun intended!).

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  4. Isn't the internet marvellous? It's brought us together in our common hatreds!

    @Joe - regulation of online advertising was taken over by the Advertising Standards Authority in spring 2011. I'm not sure if the ad is "misleading" in a commercial sense though by having a made-up scientist lay claim to imaginary and/or other people's discoveries. But if that £49 flight is never available, you'd have a good case!

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  5. I need to find a copy of this ad so badly. I have been raving about it to my friends for ages but its disappeared from spotify! I even emailed Lufthansa but they were most unhelpful!

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