The most self-indulgent thing I will ever write

I used to think that writing a blog was like walking into the middle of a busy shopping centre and shouting "look at me!" Now I realise it's like walking into the middle of a deserted shopping centre and shouting "look at me!"

I set this blog up 18 months before I wrote anything on it. Part of the reason for that was a perfectionism I think it's pretty obvious I have since abandoned. My "rationale" - if it deserves such a name - was that if it wasn't going to be immediately the biggest and best thing out there, I didn't want to put my name to it – even if it was a made-up name.

People who know me may recognise this "I won't play if I can't win" attitude. That, dear friends, is a recipe for doing nothing at all, and – I confess – for coming across like a bit of a wanker.

While there are things I've posted about that I am already fairly embarrassed about, there are likewise some pieces I'm quite pleased with – even if by far the most popular thing I've written was about Peppa Pig.

What, then, is this blog about? Let me begin by telling you what it's not.

I'm not trying to paint an accurate portrayal of myself and my life. I'm not trying to be thorough. I'm not trying to be fair to all sides of every argument. I write under a pseudonym because that's what I would want to produce if I was putting my name to this publicly. And I can't. Not without practice.

Most of what's on here is a first draft with minor tidy-ups carried out afterwards. Those tidy-ups probably constitute 25 per cent of the visits to the site. Another 25 per cent is me visiting to look at the stat counter.

It's about whatever comes into my head, for better or for worse. Why? Because I can. I know that in the big scheme of things this is about as worthwhile as scribbling on a pub toilet wall. But I enjoy it.

I hope that readers who know me personally will recognise me behind "Roger of Sicily", and get an extra layer out of what I post from the context.

Conversely, I hope that "Roger of Sicily" as exposed in purely what I write is funny enough, interesting enough or irritating enough to offer some kind of entertainment to strangers.

So in essence, Roger of Sicily is a wig, a fake moustache and a plastic nose I go about in on the internet.

Anyway, I do invite you all to leave comments here. All you need is a Google username (I've got some standards dammit!), and even if you say you don't like it, any attention at all strokes my colossal vanity.

And I promise not to write anything like this ever again.