Friday, May 6, 2011

Diggi-Loo Diggi-Ley









May 14th is Eurovision time! And while we wait for all the election and referendum results to come in from May 5th's contests, let's consider a different competition decided by a manifestly unfair voting system in which the only guarantee is that Britain will come out as the loser.

The UK pretends to not take Eurovision seriously, but in fact I would say that it takes it far more seriously than the rest of Eurovision-land.

I can't imagine that many other nations are outraged year in, year out by their failure to win – despite entering bollocks like Scooch, Daz Sampson and Jemini. The latter, lest we forget, were totally out of tune on the night and wholeheartedly deserved their nul points.

The British mistakenly believe that pop music created in the UK is inherently superior to anything produced on the continent – indeed, that pop music from elsewhere in Europe is inherently ridiculous.

Not only is it ridiculous, but the silly foreigners are completely unaware of their ridiculousness. So while we are simply being ironic when our entries are rubbish (because we don't care if we win, because the whole thing is a fix anyway), they have no idea how stupid they look.

Really? Was Lordi's winning 2006 entry from Finland delivered entirely without a tongue in cheek? Was Dana International 's 1998 transsexual hit "Diva" a seriously considered attempt to represent Israel to the world?

For god's sake – Terry Wogan spent most of his career taking the piss out of silly foreigners' Eurovision entries, and then huffed and puffed his way out of the commentary job complaining that they had the temerity to vote for one another instead of us. Leaving us, might I add, with Graham Norton.

While there may indeed be an element of truth in the idea that other countries don't vote for the British entry for non-musical reasons, I think it's less likely that it's about the government's support for war in Iraq than it is because they – like everyone – love to see someone who's over competitive shown right up.

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