Has it really been a month? Well, yes.
What have I been doing all that time? From what is about to follow, you would draw the conclusion that I had been lurking around woodlands inspecting litter.
That is not untrue, but it is a rather one-sided picture. I have been doing other things as well, many of them connected with my secret “real world” identity.
And with that preamble still ringing in our ears, let us return to the mysterious world of abandoned clothing.
“Do we have to?” I hear you cry.
To which I reply, "shut up".
OK, here we go - every parent's minor irritation: the lost single glove. No story here. Kids do it all the time. That's why some (insane) parents attach their offspring's gloves together on a piece of elastic. Clearly, getting beaten up every day of winter is a price worth paying to avoid having to buy a new pair.
I don't know what this is and so I can't even begin to speculate about its story.
Naturally, I don't touch any of this stuff. I might be strange enough to photograph stuff I find lying in the woods and in the gutters, but I do draw the line at physical contact.
Is it a shirt? Is it some pants? Is it a onesie? No, I don't think it's a onesie.
I suppose I will never know.
This is a good one. A hoodie up a tree. Who left it there? Was it too hot? Why up a tree? I hypothesise that someone was playing football (or possibly kabbadi - why isn't that on TV any more?), took their top off and forgot all about it.
Unlike most of my "captures" this looks pretty clean. Can't have been out in the elements for long. Perhaps someone came back for it shortly after this picture was taken.
Now this is quite a haul. One boot, one sock and a pair of waterproof trousers. The other boot I found a few feet away, in case you were wondering.
Oh, you weren't? Well, that's where it was anyway.
I cannot begin to imagine the circumstances that would lead someone to take off their overtrousers, their boots and one or both socks while in a Yorkshire woodland.
Well, I can imagine them. But I can't imagine them not needing to put them all back on again after finishing in order to get home without being caught.
There comes a point I suppose where the most perturbing fact about all this becomes, not the never-to-be-told stories of the lost garments - but with what appears to be an unhealthy obsession on my part.
It was funny to begin with. Especially when it was pants. Look, here are some more! Left in the middle of a footpath!
But it's starting to look peculiar now. I think I had better stop.
No comments:
Post a Comment